


A Midsummer Night's Swim

by shes_gone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bastardising Shakespeare, Coitus Interruptus, M/M, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Ridiculous, Skinny Dipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-12
Updated: 2007-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shes_gone/pseuds/shes_gone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wants to know how naked he has to be for it to count as skinny dipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Midsummer Night's Swim

**Author's Note:**

> Excessive fluff followed by excessive nudity, be warned!! Written for [](http://hp-funnyfest.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://hp-funnyfest.livejournal.com/)**hp_funnyfest**. Thanks to Lily for humouring me, to Nathaniel for his beta, to JKR and The Bard for their brilliance, to the mods for this fest of joy, and to all the boys and girls who've made me laugh so far.

Harry lay on his back and felt the cool, damp earth beneath him. 

The moon was bright, and though not full, it gave light as though it were. 

Through the open window a few feet above him, Harry could hear the clinking of a sink full of dishes and strains of music floating from the wireless. 

Occasionally he heard a woman’s voice in the kitchen singing along, out of key and without knowing all the words, but with the confident beauty of someone who thought no one was listening. 

Harry watched the moon as a light breeze blew through the garden, carrying echoes of hours-old laughter. 

The woman in the kitchen gave a contented sigh as the song changed, but stopped singing suddenly when a deeper voice joined in. 

“Arthur, you startled me!” the woman said, affection outweighing her embarrassment. 

“Dance with me, Molly,” the man replied. 

Harry listened to Mrs Weasley’s shuffled steps as the dishes began clinking in time to the music. He could hear Mr Weasley humming the tune and Harry imagined how they looked, dancing quietly in the kitchen. 

He closed his eyes and listened, breathing in the night. 

The light from the moon was bright enough that Harry noticed it become blocked even with his eyes closed. 

He opened them and saw the silhouette of a tall man looming over him, his head directly in line with the moon so that its light illuminated his hair into a crimson crown. 

“What’re you doing, Harry? You don’t have to lie out here all alone.” 

“I know,” Harry said. “That’s why it’s brilliant.” 

Ron tilted his head to the side a bit and the moon’s light cast over his shoulder, illuminating Harry’s face. 

“Care for some company?” 

“I’d love some.” 

Ron lay down beside Harry and folded his hands behind his head, following Harry’s gaze upward. 

Harry smiled as Ron gave a contented sigh, not unlike the one he’d just heard through the kitchen window. 

“What a day…” Harry said with a sigh of his own. 

“What a feast!” Ron grinned. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head. “I still can’t believe we watched Fred and George get married today.” 

“Yeah, and not to each other,” Ron smirked. 

Harry laughed. “They were a sight up there. I’ve never seen them so serious. Fred looked like he was gonna be sick.” 

“I know!” Ron said. “I thought Angelina was gonna club him upside the head.” 

Harry chuckled, remembering the twins’ expressions as they’d made their vows. 

“Did you see the way George was looking at Lee?” Harry asked softly. 

Ron rolled onto his side and looked down at Harry’s face. 

Harry felt the moonlight seep into his chest as he lifted his chin to meet Ron’s lips. 

They kissed softly for a few minutes, adding the gentle sounds of their mouths against one another to the lilt of Celestina Warbeck’s melody. 

The song changed again and a tuneless voice chimed in. Ron pulled back from the kiss and cringed. 

“Is that my mum?” 

Harry chuckled softly. “I like it,” he said. 

Ron rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Yes, well, I’m not sure I can properly ravish you while I’m listening to that.” 

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “You’d ravish me right here in the garden, directly beneath your mother’s lit kitchen window?” 

“Not when I can hear her singing, or whatever you call that, I wouldn’t.” 

Harry chuckled. “Fair enough,” he said, stealing another kiss before turning his eyes back to the moon. “Just lie here with me then.” 

They lay there for a time Harry didn’t bother to measure, fingers intertwined, feeling themselves fade into the night around them. 

A faint splash sounded from the pond fifty or so yards away. 

As Ron turned his head in that direction, Harry pictured a squat bullfrog hopping in for an evening swim. 

“Harry, let’s go swimming,” Ron said, turning back to him with a glint in his eyes. 

Harry smiled but gently shook his head. “I’m tired, Ron, it’s late. And I’m not sure I even have trunks with me.” 

“Trunks?” Ron laughed. “That is not the kind of swimming I’m talking about.” He lifted his hand and ran his fingers over Harry’s chest, trailing them down to the hem of Harry’s shirt and peaking them underneath, just grazing the skin of Harry’s stomach. 

“I want to go skinny dipping with you,” he whispered. 

Harry inadvertently cringed. “Skinny dipping? Um, no, thanks.” 

Ron pulled back. “C'mon, you know you want to.” He flashed his most suggestive smile. 

Harry smirked at him. “No, I don’t. You, I want,” he said at Ron’s frown, and leaned in for another kiss. 

But Ron pulled back further and looked concerned. 

“Harry, have you ever been skinny dipping?” 

“Um, no,” Harry replied carefully, instantly uncomfortable with where this was going. 

Ron looked positively taken aback. “Blimey,” he said as he sat up. “Well, that’s it then.” 

He got to his feet and extended his hand toward Harry. “Get up, mate. We’re going.” 

Harry sat up and looked at Ron warily. 

“C’mon, Harry. Everyone has to go skinny dipping. I should have known you’d never had the chance,” Ron said, his nostrils flaring a bit. “We can fix this one right now. Get up! There’s nothing like it. You’ll love it.” 

“Isn’t it just like taking a bath? Except out in the open, where anyone can see?” 

“Nah, mate, this is … dirty,” he said, winking. 

Harry looked in the direction of the pond. “Do we actually have to get in without anything on? Anything at all?” 

Ron chuckled. “Of course! That’s why they call it skinny dipping!” He stopped and furrowed his brow. “Actually, I don’t know why they call it that. I guess 'cause of all the skin? Anyway, doesn’t matter, we’re going. Up!” 

Harry slowly got to his feet, still looking toward the pond as though it might suddenly swallow him whole. 

“Ron, I dunno … what if someone sees us? Can’t we just go up bed and get naked there?” he asked hopefully. 

“Who’s gonna see us?” Ron cajoled. “Everyone’s gone to bed.” 

“Your parents are still up.” 

“They’ll be off to bed in a minute, Mum’s exhausted. It’s just you and me, Harry.” 

Harry looked at Ron, who was watching him eagerly, before casting another doubtful glance at the pond. 

“Ron, I just–” 

“Blimey, Harry,” Ron interrupted, “I never thought it’d be this hard to convince you to get wet and naked with me.” 

Harry was instantly hard as the image of Ron, wet and naked and bathed in moonlight, flooded his mind. 

“Well, alright,” he said. 

Ron smiled devilishly and licked his lips in the way he always did when he was aroused and thought he had a good idea. 

“Beat you there,” he said, eyes flashing. 

And he took off running as Harry stood in the garden, bewildered by the prospect of exposing himself, but unable to think past Ron’s tongue tracing his lips. 

He watched Ron’s long legs carry him across the grass, and the image from moments before reappeared, and he saw Ron running completely naked in the moonlight. 

Harry shook himself and started away from the garden toward Ron, who had disappeared behind a large tree near the water. 

When Harry reached the water’s edge, Ron had already taken off his shirt and was kicking off his shoes. 

Harry glanced around, aware of just how starkly Ron’s skin stood out in the night. 

“Harry, stop worrying!” Ron said, watching him. “Look, even if someone did look over here, they’d need Moody’s Magic Eye to see us through all these trees! Hardly a clear line of sight, mate! They’ll hide us from all the onlookers.” 

Harry looked around and tried to take solace in this observation. The pond was surrounded by trees and bushes in nearly every direction, all of which were in full bloom. 

“Yeah, or they’ll just hide the onlookers from us,” Harry said, eyeing a large willow tree, which jutted out over the water and might have been hiding an entire bay behind it. “Ron, can’t we just keep a few clothes on? That way if somebody sees, we can–” 

“No, Harry, that’s not skinny dipping. And I already told you, no one will see! They’re all asleep.” 

“But, Ron, what if … Surely it’ll still count if we just keep our pants on? The rules of skinny dipping can’t possibly be so rigid.” 

“I’ll show you something rigid,” Ron said, waggling his eyebrows. 

Harry’s eyebrow quirked of its own volition and his mouth formed an unbidden smile. 

Sensing Harry’s weakness, Ron stepped forward, wearing only his trousers, and pressed their bodies together. “Come swimming with me, Harry.” He grasped the hem of Harry’s shirt and pulled it overhead before leaning down to kiss him, cutting off Harry’s brain before it could reassert itself. 

Minutes passed, but Harry was unaware of them as Ron worked his magic, erasing the trees and the Burrow and inhibition from Harry’s mind until all that was left was Ron, and an overwhelming need to be naked. 

He suddenly realised he _was_ naked when the sound of a breaking dish, a startled cry and laughter echoed from the house, kick-starting Harry’s consciousness. 

“See!” Harry hissed, darting around Ron in an attempt to hide himself. “I told you they were up!” 

“It’s okay, Harry, no one’s coming out here.” 

But the inhibited part of Harry’s brain had reawakened. 

“Ron, please. I’d love to go swimming, but I really don’t see why we can’t keep something on. Just in case someone sees?” 

“Harry, I already told you, that’s not–” 

“Ron, c’mon,” Harry pleaded, manoeuvring to stay hidden behind his larger frame as Ron turned around. 

Ron sighed. “Fine, Harry, if you must be such a spoil-sport. I suppose we can bend the rules a bit. I’ll let you wear socks.” 

“Ron!” Harry cried, exasperated. 

“What? I need access to everything else,” Ron said, opening his eyes wide in what Harry supposed was an attempt to look innocent. 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Ron, I –” 

“Right, I’ve had enough of this,” Ron said before unceremoniously putting his hands to Harry’s chest and shoving, knocking Harry off his balance and into the water. 

The water was deeper than one might have expected and Harry found himself fully submerged before he stood up, sputtering and ready to hex Ron into next Tuesday. His glasses were still on his nose, but useless from the water droplets, so he pulled them off. 

He looked up at Ron, hoping that the fire in his eyes was intimidating, but immediately all the angry words he’d been preparing to spit out vanished. 

The connection between Harry’s brain and mouth seemed to shut down as all traffic was diverted south at the image of Ron standing above him, every naked inch blurrily radiating moonlight. 

Even through his uncorrected vision, Harry could make out Ron’s cheeky grin and cheekier erection. 

Ron must have known from Harry’s expression that the battle had been won. 

“Toss me your glasses,” he said as the ripples from Harry’s splash lapped at his toes. 

Harry complied and Ron set them atop the pile of clothes on the ground before casting Harry another blurry grin and backing up. He ran toward the water and launched himself as far into the air as he could. He crashed into the water next to Harry, and shook his hair wildly when he re-emerged. 

Harry knew he should be irritated, but as Ron approached him and his features came into focus, Harry found that he’d really just rather not be. 

Ron drew very close and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. 

“Doesn’t it feel brilliant?” he whispered against Harry’s cheek. “The water everywhere?” 

Harry breathed in Ron’s scent, somehow amplified by the water. He felt Ron’s heat and his smooth, wet skin. He felt Ron nuzzle his jaw before moving up to nibble his ear. 

“Yeah,” Harry shuddered, “feels brilliant.” 

Ron chuckled and pulled back. “Come out further,” he said. He lowered his body down into the water, lifted his feet from the bottom and gave a slow kick. 

Harry followed. The water streamed over his most sensitive areas, and he found himself biting his lip. 

When Harry was close enough to make out Ron’s facial expression again, he saw a very self-satisfied wizard before him. 

“You like it, don’t you?” Ron asked. 

Harry tried to look affronted, but really only smiled. “Stop gloating and come ravish me already.” 

The water was just shallow enough for Harry to comfortably stand as he kissed Ron and felt hands drift through the water over his body, caressing his back and arse. Harry pushed up to the balls of his feet so their cocks could rub together, and he wondered if it was strange that he enjoyed the feeling of the pond bottom between his toes. 

By the time Ron slid his hands down Harry’s back and into the cleft of his arse, Harry was aching. 

He reached up and wrapped his arms around Ron’s neck and, smiling at his buoyancy, lifted his legs to do the same around Ron’s waist. 

Harry clung to Ron, nuzzling his neck and ears, as Ron took advantage of his improved access to Harry’s arse. 

Ron’s neck tasted amazing as Harry’s tongue ran over the cords of it and Harry had to stifle a moan as Ron did something particularly delicious with his fingers. 

The night was still and quiet, and Harry was glad his brain didn’t seem to be functioning correctly because he felt like they were on stage, but somehow he didn’t mind. He tried to imagine, with what little brainpower he could still control, how they looked. 

Dancing a slow, erotic waltz on a floor rippling with moonlight, their skin illuminated as though from within as their arousal fuelled their iridescence. He imagined how their orgasms would look, glorious firecrackers in the night. 

He almost laughed at himself. 

Who knew a wedding and a little moonlight could turn him into such a sentimental git? 

As he nibbled on Ron’s ear, and writhed around his torso, Harry heard a faint splash from another part of the pond, and the image of the bullfrog returned. Harry smiled. 

There was another splash, and Harry imagined the frog’s mate. 

The third faint splash made Harry look up, wondering just what sort of party that frog had planned. 

The fourth and fifth erased the frog from Harry’s mind completely. 

Those weren’t frogs, he realised. 

Those were foot splashes. 

Of something – or, more likely, someone – clumsily wading into the water. 

Harry’s head shot up and he frantically looked around to see who was there. He saw nothing without his glasses, though, besides the vague outline of trees under the moonlight. 

His hold on Ron tightened, and Ron seemed to know it was out of fear and not passion, because he stopped what he was doing and brought a hand to Harry’s back. 

“Harry?” he whispered. “You alright?” 

“Shhh!” Harry hissed. Almost without sound, he breathed into Ron’s ear, “Someone’s here.” 

“What?” Ron whispered, much too loud for Harry’s liking. 

“Someone’s in the water, I can hear them splashing.” 

Ron cocked his head at the sound of further movement in the water. 

“Harry, it’s probably just –” 

But Ron stopped, as a different sound echoed across the night. 

Before Harry could register what it was, though, he saw over Ron’s shoulder something appear next to the silhouette of the large willow tree. From its dark shadow emerged two iridescent blurs, which seemed to float over the water. Harry cursed his eyes and almost Accioed his glasses, but his desire to stay as still and as silent as possible stopped him. 

Then the sound that had stopped Ron registered. It was a man’s voice, clumsily singing the lyrics to the Celestina Warbeck song Harry had overheard in the garden. And it was followed by the low, unmistakeably coy laugh of a woman. 

Ron went rigid in Harry’s embrace. 

He breathed something in Harry’s ear that Harry could just barely understand. “Are those my parents?” 

Equally quietly, Harry responded, “I think so.” 

“Have they seen us?” Ron asked. 

Harry watched as the two blurs moved closer together, and blended into one. “I don’t know,” he replied. “No glasses. But I don’t think so.” 

Another laugh that could only belong to Molly Weasley echoed across the water. 

Ron gave a horrified whimper. 

Harry cringed at Ron’s volume as the blur of light separated into two again and each grew brighter, and Harry knew he was seeing the Weasleys’ entire faces, rather than just profiles. 

“They see us,” he hissed. “They’re looking!” 

Ron was completely frozen. 

“Quick!” Harry hissed again. “Just go under!” 

Ron complied immediately, dropping to his knees in the water, instantly submerging both himself and Harry, who was still clinging to him with all four limbs. 

Harry unwrapped himself and opened his eyes. Enough moonlight broke the surface of the water to faintly illuminate Ron next to him. 

He thought they could swim back to the shore, where maybe they could escape without being seen, if they were quiet enough. 

But then he remembered the high wattage of the evening’s moonlight, and pictured the effect it would have on both his and Ron’s bare arses. 

No, that wouldn’t work. 

They’d just have to stay under until Mr and Mrs Weasley left. 

The flaw in this plan became apparent rather quickly. 

Harry squinted in Ron’s direction, hoping to see some indication that Ron had a plan. 

But Ron didn’t appear to be moving at all. He was completely stiff, paralysed by shock and embarrassment. 

Harry wasn’t sure how long they’d been under the water when his lungs began to burn. 

Reluctantly, he put his feet to the mucky bottom and straightened his knees. 

He gasped desperately as his head broke the surface. To his dismay, he could still make out the luminescent blurs of the Weasleys, who hadn’t moved. 

There was silence as he blinked at them, wondering if they knew that he was naked and that he’d just been in the middle of a ravishing at the hand of their youngest son. The fact that the older pair had never been anything but supportive of his and Ron's relationship somehow did nothing to assuage Harry’s terror at being discovered in such a compromising position. 

A moment or two passed before he realised that Ron hadn’t resurfaced next to him. 

At the image of Ron unmoving under the water, Harry forced back unpleasant memories and reached his hand over to where he could see fiery hair drifting about. 

Grasping the first thing he could get a good grip on, Harry seized an ear and pulled. 

Ron came to the surface, sputtering and swearing. 

He quickly quieted down, though, as he remembered why he’d been under the water in the first place. 

Seconds that could have been hours passed as the four of them stood there in silence. 

Finally, Mrs Weasley’s voice called out to them. “Well, hello, boys. Nice night for a swim.” 

“Indeed,” Mr Weasley called. 

Harry managed a smile he suspected was entirely unconvincing. 

“Have you been out long?” Mrs Weasley continued, ignoring the boys’ silence. “You must be exhausted. You’ll be heading in soon, yes?” Harry thought her cheerfulness sounded a bit hollow. 

Another long pause settled upon them until Ron and Harry both found their voices. 

“Yeah, we were just leaving,” Harry said as Ron said, “No, we just got here.” 

They looked at each other, startled and sheepish. 

Harry summoned his glasses and cast a panicky glance at Ron’s parents once the world was back in focus. 

Even in the muted colours of night, Harry could see Mr Weasley’s blush from clear across the pond. 

Looking at Ron and hoping to see a plan, Harry saw only bewilderment. 

“We, uh,” Ron said slowly. His face turned redder and Harry watched his bewilderment become resignation. “We can’t go, Mum. We, uh, need to stay out a bit longer.” He stared determinedly at the water. 

There was an awkward silence and Harry heard Ron swallow before he spoke again. 

“Do you think you could just… go?” he said weakly, just loudly enough for his parents to hear. 

Harry braced himself, following Ron’s gaze to the water, hoping with all he had that Mr and Mrs Weasley wouldn’t ask any questions. 

When neither of the older Weasleys responded, Harry looked up at them and felt his ears burn hotter than ever at the look of comprehension on Mrs Weasley’s face. 

She opened her mouth silently and started going red herself. Neither she nor Mr Weasley moved except that she lowered herself further into the water, so that her chin was just above the surface. 

Harry’s insides turned to ice with sudden realisation. 

He looked to Mr Weasley in disbelief and saw a face flushed darker than Harry had ever seen. 

Apparently Ron wasn’t the only Weasley who’d felt that the night required a little naughtiness. 

Harry tried to focus on how they might escape this situation, but his brain refused to cooperate. 

It seemed to have stalled trying to understand just how it was that he suddenly found himself naked in the pond with three – also naked – members of the Weasley family. 

He tried to find consolation in the fact that it seemed complete humiliation had been achieved, and things probably couldn’t get any worse. 

There then came a rustling from the bushes in another corner of the pond and Harry could have slapped himself for thinking something so utterly damning. 

A glint of silver caught Harry’s eye from over the bush. It disappeared quickly, and more rustling could be heard, along with a giggle and a growl. 

From around the bush appeared a mane of silvery-blonde hair atop a tall, willowy body, whose narrow waist and rounded hips carried the same enchanted glow as the bare bum cheeks Harry found himself staring at. 

As this new figure took a step backwards toward the pond, another figure emerged toward her sporting a twin mane shimmering in the moonlight. This one was of fiery red and framed a scar-laden face which, at the moment, glowed with delight and lust. 

Bill’s gaze was strong and focused, and he never so much as flicked his eyes out to the water. He stalked closer to Fleur with a heated intensity, and Harry knew he should look away. 

As Bill reached out a hand with a low, seductive growl, Harry watched the fang hanging from his ear swing and catch the moonlight, and to his horror, felt himself begin to grow hard again. 

Fleur’s hand had just reached out to Bill when Mrs Weasley cried out, causing the two to break apart and Fleur to spin around. 

The two of them stood electrified by the moonlight, and though Harry could think of little but hazarding a glance at Bill’s undoubtedly erect penis, he thought better of it and averted his gaze to the water. 

He thought it safe to look up again after more rustling suggested that they'd taken cover. But when he did, Fleur remained exactly where she had stood before, seemingly unaware – or just unworried – that her nakedness was on display. 

“Fleur,” Bill hissed from behind the bush, “come back here!” 

“Bill, ze party ees not over, I see.” 

“Oh no, Fleur dear,” Mrs Weasley rushed, “the party’s done. This is just… a misunderstanding of sorts. Go on, dear, listen to Bill.” 

Fleur put her hands to her hips and squared her shoulders indignantly. “Zere is room enough for us as well.” 

Mrs Weasley opened her mouth to protest and Bill hissed something else at Fleur, but Harry didn’t hear what either said because there was a scream from the trees in another direction. 

Heavy, fast footsteps could be heard as someone ran through the underbrush. As six pairs of eyes whirled around to look for the source, an alarmingly familiar voice could be heard squealing with delight, “Stop it, Charlie! Put me down, I won’t do it again! I promise!” 

“Do what, you saucy minx?” Charlie crooned as he suddenly appeared at the water’s edge. 

The word ‘minx’ seemed to reverberate across the pond as Charlie – who was, to nobody’s surprise, naked – froze stock-still at the sight before him. He took in Fleur, his parents, his little brother and Harry, but seemed unable to understand why they were there. 

Hermione was thrown over his shoulder so that her bare bum was inches from his face, illuminated as though by spotlight. She had stilled momentarily, readying herself to be tossed into the water. 

Harry looked away quickly, wishing he hadn’t bothered to summon his glasses. 

He felt the muck at the bottom of the pond squelching between his toes and he dug his feet in a bit deeper, imagining himself burrowing down into it. 

It seemed a rather attractive option at this point, especially when he heard Hermione slap Charlie’s arse, apparently still unaware that they weren’t alone. 

There was a sudden noise like the launching of a rocket and Harry looked up sooner than he would have liked and saw Charlie turn around and run, producing Hermione’s back and bushier-than-usual hair. She craned her neck to look around, and Harry saw her confused expression turn to horror as she bounced on Charlie’s shoulder back into the trees. 

They were all bathed in pink light as a firework exploded overhead. 

Before Harry could even begin to formulate a coherent thought as to why this might have happened, there was another one. 

A great green flash illuminated the trees and Harry saw a hundred sparkling bats flying about a dragon, who was unabashedly breathing fire. 

Harry smiled despite himself as silver-tailed rockets flew overhead, and he was thankful that no coherent thought was necessary to understand where these had come from, because his brain wasn’t showing signs of regaining full capacity anytime soon. 

Harry was also glad, as one of the rockets collided with the dragon and produced a horde of utterly bewildered three-legged goldfish who happily dove into the pond, that the display continued for another few moments, since it gave him an excuse to look up, lowering the chances that he’d see another naked person. 

As the fireworks did end, Harry kept his eyes on the sky as four – thankfully fully-clothed – figures on broomsticks appeared. 

“Blimey, George,” said Fred, “I reckon we need to work the kinks out in this one, eh?” 

“Too right, Fred,” George replied, surveying the motley crew beneath him. “D’you reckon it’s a dosage problem?” 

“Or maybe it was the interaction with the alcohol?” Fred said thoughtfully. 

“Boys!” 

It was just a whisper, really, but the sort of whisper that amplified, rather than diminished, the speaker’s ability to instil terror. 

If Mrs Weasley’s face had been red from embarrassment before, it was nothing compared with the red rage Harry was sure it was now showing. He couldn’t bring himself to actually look at her. 

Harry watched Lee and Angelina cower further into the sky behind Fred and George. 

“Sorry Mum!” Fred called cheerfully. “This wasn’t what we expected at all.” 

“EXPECTED?” Mrs Weasley, Ron and – from somewhere in the trees – Hermione all cried in unison. 

“What did you two do?” Mr Weasley asked warily. 

“Oh, Dad,” George said, “nothing much. Just a little something in the wine with dinner.” 

“What?” Mrs Weasley cried. 

“No worries, Mum! All it does is lower the inhibitions a little.” 

“We only reckoned we’d find everyone snogging in the garden.” 

“Only made from pansies and moonlight.” 

“The moon’s not even full! Wouldn’t have guessed you’d all get naked so quick.” 

“Oi, George, just thought of a new name. How about Lunar Libido Lubricant?” 

As George sniggered and Mrs Weasley began yelling at them about testing their products on unwitting subjects and the twins protested that it was their wedding feast, after all, and they just wanted to start married life off with a good laugh, Harry closed his eyes and felt oddly relieved. 

Yes, he was still standing in the middle of the pond, completely naked under the brightest moon he’d seen in a long time and surrounded by more naked people than he could ever remember counting at once. 

But at least it wasn’t really his fault. 

He cast a quick glance at Ron and saw the same beginnings of a smile that he felt on his own face. 

“Oi, Bill,” Fred suddenly called, “what are you and Fleur doing here?” He turned to look up at Lee and Angelina. “We told you two to make sure they didn’t have any!” 

“And we did!” they cried in unison. 

"Honestly, Bill, sorry," George said as all four of them looked at Bill and Fleur warily. "We didn't think giving you a moonlight based potion was such a good idea." 

“It’s okay,” Bill said with an embarrassed chuckle from behind the bush. “I didn’t have any. I was just feeling… frisky.” 

“And I,” Fleur said, tossing her hair over her shoulder indignantly, “did not drink your wine. It is not good for ze bébé.” 

Harry heard gasps in every direction. 

“Bébé?” Mrs Weasley breathed as her eyes widened. 

Fleur suddenly gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Mes dieux,” she whispered. 

Bill stood so that his upper body was visible over the bush. “Sorry, Mum,” he said with a lopsided smile. “We were gonna tell you soon, after the weddings.” 

Fleur offered a smile. “We did not want to… as you say… steal ze lemon light.” 

“Limelight,” Bill corrected. 

“Ah, oui.” 

There were hoots and laughs and calls of congratulations. Mrs Weasley gave a choked cry and started toward where Bill and Fleur stood, but the movement of the water seemed to call her back to their present situation, and she fixed the twins with a new, but significantly less steely, glare. 

At her insistence, Fred and George finally agreed to throw some instant darkness powder over the pond, giving everyone a chance to dress or just run away under a cloak of darkness. 

“Fitting,” said George with a laugh. “This way, if you really don’t think it’s funny, you can pretend you’ve just woken from a bloody bad dream!” 

“Oi, Ron, Harry!” Fred called. “Watch out for the bush over by your clothes. Percy and Penelope are hiding in it!” 

An unseen Percy cried something indignant and Ron snickered and suddenly the world around Harry plunged into total darkness. 

After several minutes of groping around, hearing and emitting cries of frustration and pain and horror when strange things were stepped on, Harry and Ron managed to find what they hoped were their clothes and get dressed. 

As the cloud of darkness started to clear away, Harry was still afraid to look around. 

“It’s alright, boys, the coast’s clear,” called George from his broomstick. “Everyone’s run back to the house.” 

“So when are you gits actually leaving for your honeymoons?” Ron asked, barely concealing a laugh. “You gonna hide out for a few more hours and cause some more mayhem?” 

George beamed. “Couldn’t say, little bro.” 

Ron shook his head. “Hey,” he said thoughtfully, “everyone was here but Ginny. She didn't have any?” 

Fred laughed. “Nah, she had plenty. And while all you romantics were out here with your sweeties by the moonlit pond, Ginny took Neville up to the Quidditch paddock and has been giving him flying lessons for the last hour.” 

“Right barmy, that girl,” George said, shaking his head. “Neville’s inhibitions may be lowered, but he’s still a clumsy oaf!” 

The six of them laughed and called their goodbyes and as the newly-weds flew away, Harry again found himself alone with Ron under the moon. 

Harry looked up at it and felt Ron come close behind him as arms wrapped around his waist and a chin came to rest on his shoulder. 

“Leave it to the twins to bewitch a moon that’s not even full,” Ron said, sounding impressed. “Spiking the wine… they’ll never run out of tricks, will they?” 

Harry hoped not, although at the moment he wasn’t entirely sure why. 

Something occurred to him, which he'd first thought of when the twins had noticed Bill. 

“Ron… I didn’t have any wine tonight.” 

Ron chuckled. “You’re just trying to take credit for the skinny dipping so I won’t make you do it again.” 

“No, I mean it. All I had was butterbeer.” 

“Oh really,” Ron said, and Harry could almost hear his eyebrow quirk. “So how do you explain the easy time I had getting you naked, eh, Potter?” 

“I think I must have been bewitched by something else,” Harry responded as he pressed his hips back, rubbing his arse against Ron. 

Ron chuckled again, in an entirely different sort of way. He turned his head to nuzzle Harry’s neck. 

“You know, Harry, no one’s going to dare come out here for the rest of the night.” 

“Ron,” Harry cautioned, “haven’t your lowered inhibitions caused enough trouble tonight? Let’s go to bed. You still owe me a proper ravishing.” 

Ron moaned and rubbed Harry’s stomach. “Well, if I owe you…” he said, running his hand over to Harry’s forearm and down to his wrist. “Give me your hand.” 

Harry complied and Ron gently pulled, turning him so that they faced one another. Ron snaked his arms back around Harry’s waist and slipped his fingers under Harry’s shirt. 

“Let me make amends,” he whispered, dipping his fingers under Harry’s belt just as Neville stumbled down from the paddock without any clothes on. 

_Exeunt Harry and Ron._


End file.
